Internal Affairs

Sweatin Like a Prostitute in Church, Part Deux

2005-07-20T15:02:00.000-07:00

Monday

I'm not gonna lie, I got a little drunk Sunday night. I realize this means that if I was a Protestant, I'd be disowned by my family. Guess what, I'm Catholic so Hail Mary and pass the booze.
Anyway, completely unrelated to my libatious evening, I somehow ended up with the rediculous hours of 2 to 5. Yeah, both PM.
After the hard day of work I took the Metro to RFK Stadium where Buddy and I, along with Buddy's roommate Jamie, took in a major league baseball game. This was great to me because not only was I a $2 train ride from a pro sports team but it only cost $7 to get in!
That's rediculous but not when you realize that a beer, hot dog and cracker jacks will set you back almost $20 once you're in.
Plus it was hotter than...you guessed it (by the way that little gem of an expression comes from Buddy) and after sweating off half my body weight we left a little early.

Tuesday

This is the day I was waiting for in a Washington internship. The guy I'm staying with will remain nameless on this blog but let's say he's a fairly influential Republican strategist. I was told to meet him early in the afternoon at RNC Headquarters where he subsequently led me down one of the coolest walks I have ever taken.
If this internship were a movie I would have done this all in one shot: from the RNC HQ up the side of Capitol Hill, past the Supreme Court and the Library of Congress, past security guards into the House entrance of the Capitol building, through the Capitol building from one side to the other passing by Senators and important offices, up several cases of stairs and into an antiquated looking room where important looking people sat all around a table and looked at me like I was one of them.
It was without a doubt one of the biggest "what the hell am I doing here" moments ever but the wierdest part was that while I was pretending to be unfazed and comfortable about the whole thing, I actually pulled it off.
There I was in arguably the most important building in the world sitting in a closed-door meeting and being treated like I belonged there. I felt like I should have been in awe but I was somehow able to convince myself that I did belong there.
Later that night I experienced another treat, being inside the RNC Headquarters as the President announced his nominee for the Supreme Court. People all over the country probably wondered what was going on in the very place I was standing at that moment and to me it all just seemed normal.
I think those of us who follow politics forget that even places as "sacred" as the White House and the Capitol are just full of regular people. Sure, they're qualified and knowledgable but mostly they are just people doing their job in a really fancy office and with a lot more pressure to succeed.
It sounds like I'm becoming disillusioned but I'm not. I'm just beginning to see that what goes on in Washington is not magical or mythical. It's real people making decisions and trying to figure out the right thing to do.
I'm not ready to hang up my journalism hat and go straight for politics, but the point is I think I could pull this politics thing off if I had to.

Sweatin Like a Prostitute in Church, Part I

2005-07-20T11:29:00.000-07:00

It is hot in Virginia. Way hot. Hotter than I've been in the last five years and I live in Alabama.
If I didn't hate environmentalists so much, I'd almost start to buy into this global warming business.
So since I last blogged, many interesting stories have taken place here in the Nation's Capitol and as I am short on time, I am forced to now give you but a smidgeon of the goodness.
Let's begin with Sunday. After spending all day out at one of the ugliest Catholic Church's I've ever seen in my life (I've seen Chinese buffets that looked better) I was given a second wind when the voice of my roommate and fellow intern Buddy came echoing over my Nextel two-way.

Buddy: What up, Dog!
Matt: Buddy! You back in town?
B: Yeah, dog, did you miss me, dog?
M: Yeah, man. I saw two movies by myself this weekend. I had nothing to do.
B: Damn, dog. You're a loser, dog. Ain't got no friends, dog.
M: Hey, let's do something tonight.
B: Aight, dog. Let's get sh#*housed!

That is not an exaggeration. That's really how conversations with Buddy sound.
So Buddy and I ventured out into DC and made our way to a little hole-in-the-wall bar called Kelley's Irish Times. We were the only two people in the bar for about the first hour during which time Buddy played "Sweet Home Alabama" and "My Home's in Alabama" on the jukebox at least two times each.
After a few pints of Guiness and some generously poured Jack & Cokes, I noticed another gentleman sitting next to me at the bar. I nodded to him but didn't really say anything. A few minutes later he turned to me and asked in a thick Irish accent "what is that there?" pointing to a nearby TV.

"That, oh that's the Espy Awards," I said.
"Espy, what's that."
"Oh it's a show where they give awards to sports figures."
"If they're great at sports, shouldn't they already have awards?"
"Hmm...good point."

After a bried conversation between this Irishman, whose named turned out to be Ger (pronounced "Jer") our talk turned to American football and why we Americans love it so much.

Matt: Buddy and I actually went to our school's postseason game last year and when we lost, I was just devastated.
Ger: Oh what round did you lose in?

At that moment, I sighed deeply and thought how beautiful it was that sweet little Irish Ger immediately assumed that a game I cared so much about surely must have had some significance.

M: No, Ger. It doesn't work that way here.
G: What do you mean? You have no quarterfinals? No semifinals?
M: Only two teams get a chance to play for the championship.
G: So you're telling me that a team could win all its games and still not even have a chance to play for the championship?!
M: Sadly, that is the case, Ger.
G: So how do you decide who gets to play?
M: We vote.
G: You Americans and your bloody voting!

Funny, yes, but in Ger's innocence lies a painful truth. To anyone else in the world, our stupid college football system makes no sense and somebody needs to fix it. If not for Auburn's sake, do it for Ger.

Matt Scalici's Day Off

2005-07-15T08:48:00.000-07:00

So today is my first day off since I've been here. I don't feel like I necessarily need it as my work has thus far been a very welcome distraction from my mild homesickness.
But my boss is gone for the weekend and I now have all of Friday to myself. I started the day off by doing the one thing you absolutely have to do on a day off which is sleep in. I also took the opportunity to come down to my local Panera Bread to use the internet, as it is my only access point.
It's kind of nice typing and web-surfing in a nice public area like this but occassionally the conversations around me can get distracting. Last night, for instance, I made the mistake of sitting next to one of the most annoying combinations of people imaginable, a college professor and a "college-know-it-all" hippie (as Cartman would say). Their conversation basically consisted of the hippie telling the professor all these passages in the Bible that prove that Jehova's Witnesses have it right, then the professor telling the hippie five more passages that prove that Jehova's Witnesses are wrong, and then the hippie countering with the always effective "yeah, that's a controversial passage. I could go on with you about this for hours but I guess we just have to disagree."
There were several moments when I almost stood up and said "Listen, you door-to-door idiot! It's not controversial! This guy gets paid to study the Bible and he just called you and your idiot comrades out! Cut your losses, quit talking and eat your damn panini!"
I would have said that, but then I would have had to leave the store and well, I still had to place my order for the 2005 Alabama Football Media Guide.
If I ever see that guy again, though...
So that's about it for now. I think I'll take the Metro over to DC now where I will pretend to be cultured and take in a few of the Smithsonian museums. Then I'll probably go see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory tonight and erase all that culturing.
Enjoy your day, pull for Tiger and for Pete's sake if you see a Jehova's Witness, tell them I said to shut up.

The Ninja Ain't Got ____ On Me

2005-07-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

I'm of course referring to the somewhat decrepit red steel rollercoaster at Six Flags Over Georgia that has given many a hernia over the years.
That's the best analogy I could come up with for what I've been feeling the past three days. Down, up, twisting, looping. The only consistency here has been the traffic, which is always insane.
I just don't know how to feel up here. On the one hand, it's certainly a huge opportunity to get to do the things I'm doing. I expected that at first I'd be doing menial tasks but they've actually had me playing pretty important roles from the beginning. I'm actually supposed to run a voter registration drive at a huge cathedral all by myself this weekend! (which is more scary than it is exciting)
I'm excited to be a part of this scene in what I feel like is a very crucial time. That all appeals to the big picture part of me, the part of me that feels like it's my duty to change the world before I die.
Then there's the other part of me. The part that just wants to live my life for myself. It's a selfish part, sure, but it's the part that appreciates the little things in the world like my family and my girlfriend and junk food and television and my dog. That part of me knows that even if I didn't change the world, I'd still probably die happy.
So there's the big existential question that this trip seems to have turned into all of a sudden. Is my own personal happiness more important to me than making a difference in the world? It's actually tougher than it might sound because I've always been so high on my principles and it would make me into an awful hypocrite to go back on all these years of ideological spouting now just to lead a quiet, happy life in Alabama.
The answer right now is this: if I had to choose, I'd pick the simple life. I'd pick laying on my couch watching football with my dog and eating dinner with my family every Sunday night and staying in to watch stupid TV shows with Francesca.
I would give up a chance to change the world if it was the only way I could keep those things and I don't really feel bad about it. Am I losing my steam as I get older? Or am I starting to figure out the meaning of life? I think it's something in between the two.
Either way, I have plenty of time to think about it this weekend because my only friend in town, Buddy, has gone out of town for the weekend and I'm left here alone to choose between going to the movies, pretending my room is a sauna, or walking around DC by myself. All sound pretty lonely and pathetic but the way I look at it, I'll probably never have another chance to live in one of the greatest cities in the world all by myself. I have complete and total freedom.
And it's way overrated.

First Day Jitters

2005-07-11T12:48:00.000-07:00

I consider myself to be a pretty confident guy, all in all. I had my days (early highschool) when I had so little confidence in myself that I basically sat on my hands all day and looked at the floor. Most people have been like that at some point in their lives.
But we move on, as have I. Except of course on those special days where I am starting a new job. Granted, those are the times where confidence is the MOST necessary and yet I just lose every ounce of it as soon as I walk in the door. It happened earlier this summer when I started my summer job and had to pretend to know anything at all about treadmills and weight benches.
It just happened again.
Since I just finished sleeping off the longest drive of my life (more on that later) my wonderfully nice boss Mary Beth told me to come in whenever I got up. Not wanting to take too much advantage of her nice nature, I decided to get there around 10:30 (late enough to enjoy my sleep but not so late that I seem lazy).
Now I don't know if any of you have ever attempted to drive around the D.C./Northern Virginia area but let me describe it to you. Remember the opening scene of Star Wars: Episode III where the sky is filled with explosions and ships are flying in a million different directions. That would have been really nice compared to my morning. So an hour and five wrong exits later I arrived at work hoping that they hadn't left for lunch already.
Turns out that May Beth is just too nice a person to get mad at me for something like that. Plus the whole atmosphere of the office here is pretty laid back and comfortable. It's actually in a little townhouse next to a hypnosis therapy office, which could be a great way to convert hopeless liberals.
I'm going to try to find a Starbucks later so I can blog further but for now I'm back to making phone calls (yeah, they let me pick up a phone the first day!).

Once Upon a Time in Washington

2005-07-07T10:42:00.000-07:00

Though my internship has yet to officially begin, I figure now is the best time to make my first entry in this blog. The premise here is pretty simple: Internal Affairs will be an insightful and hopefully entertaining look at what it's like to be a lowly intern in the fast-paced world of Washington politics.
The idea for this blog came to me a few weeks ago when I first got an inkling that this belated summer internship was coming my way. At that point, it was really a rather boring summer in terms of politics. Sure, we had the infamous "Group of 14" agreement but all in all things were pretty quiet on the Potomac.
Now it's two days before my departure and there's a vicious Supreme Court nomination battle brewing, an imminent scandal on its way with the revealing of the CIA leak, and not least of all a major terrorist attack in London.
Excited would probably be an innapropriate word to describe how I feel, since these are all very serious and important issues in our world. Still, the idea of being in D.C. at the very time that all this is happening is very intriguing to an aspiring journalist like myself.
So what exactly will I be doing on this internship? Good question.
I do know that I will be working for the Republican National Committee.
Specifically, the Political Office of the RNC.
Even more specifically, the Catholic Outreach branch of the Political Office.
We will be focusing on state elections in the key swing state of Virginia where they are in the midst of a heated campaign for governor and lieutenant governor. Part of my job will be (as the name suggests) reaching out to Catholics and urging them to participate in the electoral process as well as reminding them where the parties stand on all the important Catholic issues.
If this all bores you to tears, don't worry; the blog will not be focusing very heavily on the ABC's of Virginia politics. This blog is more about the trials, tribulations and everyday perils of political internship.
I'm off now to pack up my stuff, say my tearful goodbyes and embark on my 10 hour drive to Alexandria. Check in here early next week for my report on my first day on the job and keep checking back all summer for stories, anecdotes, photos and hopefully many guest appearances by the one and only Buddy.
Oh yeah, you heard right.